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An interview on persuasion mastery
with Jonathan Altfeld
This is an interview in which Andy Szekely
is asking master persuader Jonathan Altfeld a set of targeted
questions that reveal the essentials of the persuasion process.
AS (AS training & consulting)
There are many areas and definitions of the persuasion process.
People call it influence, convincing, manipulating, selling... So
what is persuasion really?
JA (Jonathan Altfeld)
Persuasion is your ability to convince others of your point of view,
through explanation, stories, discussion, requests, or other forms
of communication. Persuasion can also be any of the things you mentioned.
In other words, selling is one form of persuading. Getting a date
is another form of persuading. Negotiating anything effectively
is another form of persuading.
All of us use persuasion. Some people are better at it than others.
I believe our success in life is _directly_ related to our level
of persuasive ability.
Some people are natural persuaders, some people take training in
persuading. I provide this service to those who want to become more
natural at persuading other people.
AS
Is persuasion and selling the same thing?
JA
Certainly it can be, but I don't think these are automatically the
same.
I have sold things without having had to persuade anyone of anything
(in other words, some people came to me ready to buy something and
I didn't have to do any work at all to close the sale).
By contrast, I have also persuaded people to choose a range of things
without having sold anything to them at the time. For example, I
persuaded someone to join me for lunch just the other day. And there
have certainly been times when I was selling a product to a customer,
where I did need to persuade them of the wisdom of the choice they
were about to make.
AS
Can someone etichaly be persuading somebody else?
JA
Persuasion skills, whether natural or trained, are just tools. Just
techniques. The ethics of a person are separate from the tools.
I say this because I know many people who act very ethically when
they persuade other people. And I know many people who act without
ethics when they persuade.
Curiously, I find that most people who are trained to be more persuasive,
usually act with more ethical choices. Often because those of us
who train persuasion skills build "ethics" and "ecology"
of our choices, into our training process.
So, yes, people can ethically persuade, and people can unethically
persuade. The ethics are in the people, not the tools, and it's
usually people who haven't thought through the results of their
behavior who are unethical.
AS
Can you offer us an example of ethically influencing someone's course
of actions?
JA
Certainly, I can give you several examples.
(1) Persuading a person to hire you, if you know you're a great
candidate for the job.
(2) Persuading a customer prospect to buy your product, after you've
discovered that he will be able to benefit greatly from owning it.
(3) Persuading a friend to discard limiting beliefs, empower themselves,
and take action in a way that will build a better life for themselves.
(4) Persuading that amazing man/woman you've wanted to get to know...
that you're a fascinating person who will reflect what's best in
them.
AS
What makes a master persuader?
JA
Globally renowned author and trainer of Sales skills Zig Ziglar
once said, "your best 'weapon of influence' is your integrity."
I believe that's true thoroughly and completely. If you come from
a place of integrity, and always take into account other people's
wants and needs, everything you do will have balance to it.
When you listen to other people's wants and needs, and observe their
behavior, you can tune your communication skills to best bridge
other people's wants and needs... to your products, services, or
ideas. You'll be inviting other people into viewing the world more
the way you look at it.
Then often, when people make the choices you've persuaded them to
make, those choices come from a place of desire and balance, which
essentially means, they'll be glad they're making those choices,
and you've persuaded them well.
Last point: A Master Persuader is also someone who can easily persuade
him-/herself to walk away from persuading someone -- when the outcome
doesn't fit the prospect's wants and needs. Someone who recognizes
a bad opportunity quickly -- and chooses to preserve the relationship
-- rather than pushes their agenda and desired transaction.
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